Do I need a girlfriend?

My wife says, "No." But MySpace keeps asking that question over and over, and offering up a veritable buffet of female delicacies to tantalize the senses of most any man. Check out this one.

Okay. Not really my style. I’ve always liked the brunettes. How about this little honey?

Oh yeah. Mama knows how to work that booty! And I’m a sucker for a gal in boots, too. But wait! There’s more. What’s this one?

What is she? Like 12? Are they serious? Is this a trick to trap pedophiles? She looks young enough to be doing acne commercials. Don’t you have anything else? I mean, I don’t want to go to jail. One more? Bring it on!

Yikes! Did you have to dig that one up, or did you just pay her bail? I’ve seen veteran hookers with meth problems that looked more appealing than that.

I suppose I’ll just have to pass on the girlfriend offer again tonight.