Adventures in Online Dating, Part 1

I’m an introvert by nature. I don’t have many friends, and I don’t get out much. It isn’t that I don’t want friends or don’t want to get out and do things. I do. I get bored and lonely at home. My dogs are only so much company. I used to have friends, back in school. No, not college … kindergarten through 12th grade. Maybe being married was a barrier to making close friends. I don’t know. My point is, I don’t get out much.

I’ve been divorced for almost three years now, and was separated for a year before that. My ex-wife has been in another relationship for about two years. So, about a year ago I decided I should try to find a partner. Since I don’t go anywhere or do anything, my options were pretty much limited to the online world.

Sheesh! There are a lot of dating sites out there.

Because I can’t just pimp my books 24/7, I thought I would bring you a series of my adventures in online dating. Hopefully it’ll be funny and maybe enlightening. In this first installment, I’m going to talk about the sites I’ve been on and my experience with the platform; I’ll get into experiences with the ladies next time.

OKCupid was my first site. I still like this one, although I’ve currently deactivated my account and deleted the app. There is an endless supply of questions to answer and when you click on a potential match you get her bio and stats and can see her answers to questions. Sometimes I would have hundreds of matching answers with a lady. You get a lot of accessibility with the free account at OKCupid, but I got caught in two scams where the other party led me on for a bit, then asked for money. I didn’t give them any money. And no, that isn’t why I deleted the app … I did that when it tried to match me with a former supervisor.

Zoosk was next, I think. I like the format of this one, though I have to wonder how many of the women are really just bots. One photo and no “story” to talk about who they are and what they like makes me suspicious. My account was hacked on this site and sent out viruses to hundreds of people so it had to be closed. I just recently made a new one and this is the only site I’m currently paying for. It’s also the site where I have never gotten a response from a woman I message first. You have to pay for Zoosk to have any real experience with it; it is one of the less expensive sites.

Plenty of Fish is another one where you can do quite a bit without having to pay anything. A female friend of mine says this has been her best experience. I didn’t have much luck with it. My account is currently deactivated, but I might start it up again. I did go on one date with a woman I met here. For some reason, PoF kept matching me with women in the Casper, Wyoming, area despite me living in the Oklahoma City metro. is where I’ve invested the most money. This one is awful if you try to use it for free. You can see pictures and read bios, and it’ll tell you when someone likes you, but you’re not going to get to see that person or read any messages they send until you make with the payment. I subscribed to this one for two 6-month increments, with the last one expiring a couple of weeks ago. I’m still single, though I had a few dates from this site.

Hinge is a decent one. I’ve not paid anything here, but you can see pictures and read what the other party says about themselves in answer to some questions. You can message, but you only get to see one conversation and one like at a time with the free version. They say Hinge is the app designed to be deleted, but they still want you to commit for three months at $59.99.

eharmony says someone falls in love on their site every 14 minutes … but they want you to commit to a one-year subscription, anyway. You can’t see pictures for free. You can read about the women and see how you match up with them using eharmony’s complex algorithms, but you can’t read messages. They gave me a free 3-day trial and it was okay, but not enough to make me want to subscribe.

Facebook has a dating feature and I’ve turned it on a couple of times but, well … it was scary.

GrindR just wasn’t my cup of tea. haha Okay, my students last year suggested this one, hoping I wouldn’t know what it was, but I did and have never been on it.

I think that’s all of them. Tune in next time and I’ll talk about some of the people I’ve met and messaged (all names and identifying details will be changed or omitted, of course).

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