I swore today that I would wear my contact lenses. I haven’t worn them in a long time because, frankly, I can’t see very well with them. It’s a fairly new prescription, so that isn’t the problem. The problem is simply that my doctor says I’m at a point where I have to wear bi-focal lenses, and there just aren’t bi-focal contacts. So I’ve been wearing my glasses.

I’ve worn glasses from the time I was 16 (about eight years after I got my first pair; couldn’t drive without them) until I was about 31, when I finally decided maybe I could put a piece of plastic over my eyeball. For the next 12 years or so, I always wore contacts, and sunglasses outside. I do love sunglasses! Then the eye doctor decided I needed bi-focals. I wasn’t having any trouble seeing. Well, no more than usual. From that point on, wearing contacts has been more trouble than it’s worth. The lenses make me far-sighted, so I had to get a cheap pair of reading glasses. Then I changed prescriptions, but the problem persists, though not quite as bad. I can see what I’m writing here, for instance, but it’s blurry and I can feel myself straining.

So I’ll be peeling off the contacts and putting on the glasses in a few minutes. Experiment failed. I am old. Soon, I’ll be the old bald guy with glasses. Enjoy your youth, kiddos.