Overriding Obama … and other stuff

My 6-year-old son just informed me that the new president made a new rule. It’s the "No more baths rule." So, guess who just vetoed that new law. Apparently even first graders were watching the inauguration yesterday.

Earlier this month Horror World posted an interview I did with the amazing Carrie Jones. Carrie hasn’t been able to post a link on her blog yet, as she’s been sunbathing (or something) in Vermont for the past couple of weeks. Here’s the interview. While on the subject of Carrie, I’ll say I finished her latest book, Need, the other day and loved it. Highly recommended. I hear she’s been working on something about possession lately. That might be good.

So, I’ve been teaching parts of the Bible in my AP Literature and Composition class. Because of various interruptions, the unit has stretched a week longer than originally planned. I tell ya, I will be glad to end it on Friday. I have a fundamentalist student in one of my classes and we are constantly clashing. My Wiccans, atheists and Buddhists are doing fine and understand why we’re looking at the Bible, but this one (there are really two, but one keeps it to herself) wants to argue for literal interpretations for everything. Well, everything except the Song of Songs/Solomon, where she wants to say the Christian interpretation of the song being about Christ and his church is the correct interpretation. No way it’s just an erotic love poem! Anyway, a couple more days, a quiz and a timed writing and we’ll be done with that. Just for shits and giggles, I’m also having them watch Dogma. George Carlin as Cardinal Glick. That’s just so brilliant!

Time to fish a certain boy out of the bath tub.

3 responses to “Overriding Obama … and other stuff”

  1. You’re going to get away with Dogma in OK public schools?
    Can I pop the popcorn and have a um…uh teacher/trainee visit? 😀

    1. I’m the freakin’ department chairman. What I say goes! Unless admin finds out. haha
      I know it’d be a bit, umm … controversial if word got out, but there’s a reason I took the room at the end of the hall and in the corner. We had a teacher last year who got in some trouble for showing Hard Candy during a unit on pedophilia, so there is a risk here, but I think the kids can learn something about allusion, irony, satire, etc. from the film.
      Pop some corn and come on up. We’re only about 30 minutes into it. We haven’t even gotten to Rufus yet. When Serendipity starts dancing …

      1. Kevin Smith is brilliant in that way: the way he hides valuable lessons of tolerance between dick and fart jokes.
        As far as your student(s) stuck on the literal interpretation of the Bible…here are some of my favorites:
        1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?
        2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her? She is 6 years old, healthy, and very smart. She doesn’t want to be a slave, so that might be a problem.
        3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanness – Lev.15: 19 24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
        4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord – Lev.1:9. The problem is, my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
        5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2. clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?
        6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination – Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this? Are there ‘degrees’ of abomination?
        7. Lev.21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear contact lenses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?
        8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though Lev. 19 expressly forbids this: How should they die?
        9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves? What should we do with the NFL?
        10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14) I know you have studied these
        things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help.

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