Steven E. Wedel

Dark, soulful tales that haunt long after the last page.

Wanna become a werewolf?


i need to become a werewolf ive longed to become one for years, i need to know. if you can help me email me at {email address not revealed}

I get messages like this from time to time. I don’t know what to think of them. Do people really believe in werewolves? Do they really think I’m a werewolf? Or just that I have tapped into the secret of lycanthropy and could hook them up like a junkie outside the elementary school?

Speaking of elementary school, this person should return there. There aren’t many things that irritate me as much as the lazy kind of writing you see so much of now that computers have infiltrated our society. Buy a comma, man! Borrow a capital letter and get your period, honey! Sheesh.

And this person doesn’t want to become a werewolf. It’s a need he (or she) has. Why? What does this person have in mind to do that would be easier as a wolf? Maybe he just wants to be able to pause and take a dump on the sidewalk and not be expected to scoop his own poop.

For anyone reading this and wondering, the answer is “No.” I cannot help you become a werewolf. If you’re a good-looking woman, I may be tempted to bite and nibble and make you howl, but you will not sprout fur in new places or grow extra teats because of it. (Don’t tell my wife I just said any of that!)

Steven E. Wedel

3 responses to “Wanna become a werewolf?”

  1. horrorwench Avatar
    horrorwench

    HEY!! i’m the queen of no caps in my emails… once i’m past that cold professional layer of things anyway =) and if you’re lucky you’ll get a period instead of elipses, smileys, or whatever.
    that said…
    the thing about this that scares me is that they WANT to rip people to shreds, eat them, discard the bones when they’re done, and pretend to be a human the rest of the time. *sniff sniff* is that a serial killer in the making i smell??
    and i’m sooooooooooooo telling your wife!! hehehehe… [i get freak email too, don’t feel too lonely there!]

    Reply
    1. sewedel Avatar
      sewedel

      I’m sure YOU get freak e-mail
      Ah, Wenchy, I don’t mind the no-caps thing from you. I know you. But for somebody I don’t know to litter my inbox with poor writing … Well, even us werewolves have standards, ya know.
      Maybe he doesn’t want to rip people to shreds. Maybe he just thinks it’d be cool to be able to lick his own balls. Hell, maybe it would …
      You’d tell my wifey you want me to bite and nibble you until you howl? What would your hubby think? 😉

      Reply
      1. horrorwench Avatar
        horrorwench

        Re: I’m sure YOU get freak e-mail
        yes – i have on occasion proven that i do know how to properly construct sentences =) i should send you some of my insane emails sometime, you’d get a kick out of it!
        i thought ALL men wanted to lick their own balls?
        hehehe… he already thinks you’re all dangerous and bites his nails whenever i leave town =))

        Reply

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