Fighting Seasonal Depression with Hate

I entered the workforce at the age of 16. That was in 1982. I worked for the only McDonald’s Enid, Oklahoma, had at that time. I lasted three weeks, then moved on to another job. That’s 43 years of answering to someone else in order to make the money needed to survive. I’m tired of it.

I hate my job. I was manipulated and lied to and put into a position I specifically said I did not want. The stress is eating at me every day.

I should be able to retire after 43 years of working, but I was never smart with my money. I was never in a position where I could save. If I had a 401(k) or other retirement plan, I always cashed it out when I left one job to chase a dollar on someone else’s coattails. I worked long hours, thinking my dedication would be rewarded, but all I got were holes that should be full of memories with my kids when they were young.

For most of those 43 years, I’ve held on to the dream of becoming a full-time author. It hasn’t happened. But, as the sands of 2025 run into the bottom of the hourglass, something has changed. Instead of sinking into my usual seasonal depression over being old and alone in this time of shining lights and family gatherings, the hate in my guts has motivated me to be more productive than at any point in my life.

I’ve written so much over the past few months. I’ve birthed three new pen names to go with the two I already had, so that I have stories coming from six names. I have multiple books up for pre-order, with more ready, and the ideas just keep coming.

For the first time in my career, I’m writing to market. Gone is the idea of being innovative and trying to ignore tropes, twist plots, flip archetypes. I’m not a great writer, but I do have the ability to write very fast and to emulate voice and style. It’s something I had to do as a corporate writer. Now I’m bringing it to fiction.

In 2026 I’ll be publishing horror and westerns, like usual. I’ll be back to publishing erotica and romance, something I’ve let slide for a while. I’ve created a new name for heroic and epic fantasy. I’m launching a series in the romantasy genre, with four books planned in the series, plus two unrelated standalones. I’m also going to publish some middle-grade books inspired by growing up in the 1970s.

I’m going to run ads, post videos, join promotions and newsletter swaps, and anything else I can think of to market the major titles I have planned. Not every book — not every pseudonym — will get a promotional push or ad spend.

Next year has to be the year I finally get to stop being a wage slave.