I hate cars. The only thing I hate worse than cars is having more than one car. In the past two months we’ve spend almost $1,000 on a new water pump, then four new tires for my wife’s van. This morning my hail damaged, bird-shit-covered little Kia starting lurching and chugging on the way to work. The Check Engine light came on and started flashing like a desperate old whore winking dramatically for attention. According to the manual, that’s a catalytic converter issue. Wonderful.