Perhaps this article will explain my bird phobia. It likely could at least explain the prevalence of bird-headed deities among ancient cultures.
Steven E. Wedel
Birds are just furtive, creepy things. Dirty, too.
That which you fear is your god
You fear hair loss. That’s why you fear birds.
Re: That which you fear is your god
I’m more likely to be snatched bald-headed by my wife than by a bird.
May I ask what caused this phobia? An attack by a bird, the Hitchcock movie, a dream? Surely it can’t just be a fear of hair loss. LOL
Hair loss is no laughing matter!!!
The Hitchcock movie started it. Then we had a mockingbird in our backyard that would attack our golden retriever, the neighbor cat and my mom, stealing hair to build a nest in our cedar tree.
Me and Red Ryder finally took care of that particular bird, but …
Off Topic, but…
Thank you so much for the package! It was great!
I pored through Murdered By Human Wolves in one sitting this afternoon – it was a really gripping read! I’m looking forward to browsing the CD as well, and the bookmark is absolutely lovely!
Re: Off Topic, but…
Hey there! Glad to hear everything arrived. And, of course, thrilled to know you enjoyed MbHW. I hope 2006 turns out to be a better year for you.
Re: Off Topic, but…
Thank you! I’d like to say it’s gotta go up from 2005, but I don’t like to tempt fate! 😀 I will say that it’s been a lot better so far 🙂
The REAL reason behind Steven’s bird phobia
Me & Steven Wedel were out driving finishing up last of his rounds for the
“Meals on Wheels” delivery that Steven had to do as community service due to an
earlier incident. It seems some perv had been video taping some people humping in
the nearby van and got the fight between Steven and the werewolf on tape. Though its not against the law to kick a werewolf in the nads, if the said werewolf is the son of someone semi-important, then you get hassled by “the man”.
Steven made me ride with him as he had a new person on his route and was old Miss Berhardt, who happened to be the last stop. Her claim to fame was that she had been a champion parakeet breeder and lived in a creepy house on top of a hill. Odd, cacophonous sounds came out of the house at all hours but it was the worst after dark.
Tonight, the house looked even creepier as it was soaked by a full moon.
The old shrew met us at the door and there was a bit of a smell as there were quite a few birdcages in view. “Come in, let me get my meal tray so I can eat in the front room here.” she chirped. Both of us acknowledged a simultaneously creepy feeling but knew we’d be out of there in a minute and thought nothing of it.
She came back into the room and asked if we could open the curtains so she could enjoy the view while dining. A sinister grin crept across her face as I began to open the curtains and moonlight poured into the dimly lit room.
Miss Berhardt then started to tremor and shift in a greenish haze, her head transforming with colored plumes and a hideous, giant beak. She stood with her headbobbing, clawing at the carpet with loud, gravely chirps deciding how to start the feast.
Steven authoritatively remarked, “Stand still, we’re in danger”.
He then grabbed a huge sack of birdseed and slung its contents at the beast’s feet. She immediately started pecking at the piles of food until falling over a second later. I saw Steven behind her with a silver candlestick holder.
She slowly started to turn back into human form.
“What the Fuck!??!”, I yelled at Steven, “How the hell did you do that?!!?”
“I’ve read that Were-akeets are pretty stupid, now lets get out of here before she wakes up and calls the cops. I now have a phobia about birds,” said Steven.
Pulling away from the house, I just stared out the window in disbelief.
“Wanna go get a beer?” asked Steven. He then turned up the stereo as Judas Priest’s “You’ve Got Another Thing Coming” blared out into the night.
Re: The REAL reason behind Steven’s bird phobia
Were-akeets. The most dreaded of all shapeshifting beings!
Man, I about chocked on whatever it was I was eating when I first read this the other day.
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